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Classic Internet Classics - Part 2

To continue my "Internet Classics" series, I submit you The Official Geek Test!

The Official Geek Test

Here it is, the geek test, written by geeks themselves and probably the most comprehensive test of its kind. The fact that you even have your hands on a copy of this test is probably indicative of at least some inherent geekiness or at the very least geek friends who led you here. To take this test you will need a pen or a pencil and some paper (items no proper geek should be without). The statements should be self-explanatory; award yourself points where they ring true and even if in doubt (i.e. you only painted one miniature and it was a year ago) go ahead and take the points anyway…take pride in your geekdom. As a general rule, the statements need to pertain to the last two years. The fact that you played D&D when you were ten years old doesn't count unless you are between the ages of ten and twelve.


Played miniature game 

 (if you are questioning what miniatures are, skip these questions) 


Bought miniatures 20

Painted miniature 25

Paid for miniatures to be painted  35

Been paid to paint miniatures 70

(Welcome back) 
Own Monty Python 10

Quote Monty Python  30

Quote Mel Brooks  20

Watched the Star Wars Movies 5

Corrected the previous statement to "the first Star Wars movies" 10

Quote Star Wars 15

Know Star Wars history 40

Seen the Star Wars Christmas special 50

Fact checked about Star Wars 50

Watched Star Trek (occasionally) 10

Watched Star Trek (regularly) 20

Know the actors in Star Trek 20

Know the episodes of Star Trek (Plot and names)  45

Have gone to a Star Trek convention 60 


Know Klingon 


Attended Klingon summer camp (even we think you're a freak on this

Game system map on the wall  50

Played RPG 25

Own a RPG book 30

Own a library of RPG books (15 or more) 

(this is the actual game books, not he fiction novels…don't worry,
you'll get to claim those later)


Quote from RPG books 100 

Play LARP  25

Play LARP weekly 50

Play LARP or RPG more than three times a week 120

Know what LARP or RPG means

Have a dice bag (doesn't everyone?)

Ever lost someone in gaming conversations 20

On a daily basis 50

Fact checked a RPG or LARP outside of game 40

Attended a gaming convention 40

Ran or helped organize a gaming convention  70

Played an all night gaming session 10

On New Years Eve 100

Spent four hours or more in a gaming store in one day 20

Owned or worked in a gaming store  40

Run a LARP or RPG 30 per game

Play rock, paper scissors a lot  10

make gaming references to real life 25

Know someone only by their character/in-game name 20 

Played the Amber RPG 30

Play Magic 20 

Have an extensive Magic card collection (1000 or more) 80 

Read Literature for fun (school doesn't count)

Read Sci-Fi for fun

Prefer the full pronunciation of science fiction because it's classier 30

Read literature based off of RPGs  35

Favorite author is R.A Salvatore 70

Own or read a Star Wars/Trek book 20

Own or read the Vampire Chronicles 10

Own or read the core Tolkein books 10

Read the other "Tolkein" books  20

Own or read all the Dune books 20

Own or read all the Amber books  20

Own or read all the Star Wars books 75

Own or read all the Star Trek books 150

Dress all in black

Own a gaming teeshirt 30

Own a trench coat

Own a corset  5

Know what garb means 

Own a set of garb 20

Ever worn garb to scare normals 40

Attended a ren-fair 10

Member of SCA 30

Member of NIGA 30

Member of RPGA 30

Member of local gaming club 30

Pagan  15

Read Douglas Adams books 5

Quote from a Douglas Adams book

Own a Rush album  10

Own a Joe Satriani album  10

Own a Dead Can Dance album 10

Own a Final Fantasy soundtrack 50

Read Sandman  5

Own Sandman  25

Worship Neal Gaimon as a god  25 

Collect comic books 20 

Own a comic book teeshirt  10

Own a computer

Own a maxed out computer  20 

Built your own computer 50 

Play computer/console RPGs 10

Play computer/console Strategy games

Chat 20 

Met significant other through internet 60

Know computer language 30 per language

Know assembly 50 

Know machine language 200 

Own computer teeshirt 40

Write in binary for fun 100

Have played a video game for more than six hours in one sitting 25

Are a video game junkie 

(play video games for more than 20 hours a week)


Enjoy watching video games 50

Own Tony Hawk Pro Skater  10 

Believe in the zen of Tony Hawk 50 

Own any Anime 15

Have extensive Anime collection 80 

Own Anime teeshirt 10

Have a comics/Anime/gaming poster 20

Have a station wagon or van 5

Thinking that you can get laid in the back of your station wagon or

Brush your teeth less than twice a day

Brush your teeth less than twice a week 25

Having long hair if you're a man 5

Shower less than six times a week 10

Have a distinctive unpleasant odor (ask a friend or co-worker) 15

Hang out in coffee houses and all night diners  10

Wrote of helped write a geek test  100

Watch Dr. Who 30

Dr. Who fan 45

Play Dr. Who RPG  75

Own or Read all Dr. Who novels  125

Fact checked Dr. Who 50 

Because the next three questions pertain to
activities frequently participated in highschool, the two year rule does
not apply. But if you have been out for more than ten years and aren't
involved in the activities through college or the community, go ahead and
skip these questions.


Are or were in marching band 20

Are or were in choir 10

Are or were in a theatre program 5

This next part of the test is the anti-geek
point section. Deduct any points earned from below from your current total.
These points can be claimed as long as the action happened in the last
four years unless it is related to highschool activities then the rules
above apply.



Getting laid in the back of a station wagon
of van 

Play typical pop music instruments 50

Skating (in-line or skateboard) 35

Mountain biking 35

Treking (hiking, backpacking) 50

Play sports 50

Play popular sports (football, baseball,

Generally athletic 10

Have done jail time 50

Do drugs more than twice a year  35

Drink (we're talking party drinking here) 15

Own higher end, name brand, trendy clothes 70

Own a cool car  50

Not a virgin 10

Member of the 21 or mile high club 100

Own a motorcycle  50

Are well traveled (abroad or in the U.S.) 80

Hold a blue color job 20

Are a member of a rock band 150

Listen to country music 20

Go bar hopping 30

Are popular with members of the opposite

In a fraternity or a sorority 75


Geek Point breakdown

Non Geek

200-299      Level
0 geek (wannabe)

300-350      Level
1 geek (Urkel)

351-451      Level
2 geek (casual geek)

452-652      Level
3 geek (true geek)

653-1053    Level 4 geek (Uber

1054-1854  Level 5 geek (Jedi Master)

1855-2855  Level 6 geek (Leader of the
Golden Crown and Rear Admiral of the Fleet)

2866-4000  Level 7 geek (Maud'dib, The
Chosen Master of the Illuminati, Lord of

Silicon Valley and the Justicar of all he surveys)

If you can guess what this chart is based
on, give yourself 100 more points

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