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Classic Internet Classics - Part 2

To continue my "Internet Classics" series, I submit you The Official Geek Test!

The Official Geek Test

Here it is, the geek test, written by geeks themselves and probably the most comprehensive test of its kind. The fact that you even have your hands on a copy of this test is probably indicative of at least some inherent geekiness or at the very least geek friends who led you here. To take this test you will need a pen or a pencil and some paper (items no proper geek should be without). The statements should be self-explanatory; award yourself points where they ring true and even if in doubt (i.e. you only painted one miniature and it was a year ago) go ahead and take the points anyway…take pride in your geekdom. As a general rule, the statements need to pertain to the last two years. The fact that you played D&D when you were ten years old doesn't count unless you are between the ages of ten and twelve.

 

Played miniature game 

 (if you are questioning what miniatures are, skip these questions) 
10

 

 
Bought miniatures 20

 
Painted miniature 25

 
Paid for miniatures to be painted  35

 
Been paid to paint miniatures 70

 
(Welcome back) 
 
Own Monty Python 10

 
Quote Monty Python  30

 
Quote Mel Brooks  20

 
Watched the Star Wars Movies 5

 
Corrected the previous statement to "the first Star Wars movies" 10

 
Quote Star Wars 15

 
Know Star Wars history 40

 
Seen the Star Wars Christmas special 50

 
Fact checked about Star Wars 50

 
Watched Star Trek (occasionally) 10

 
Watched Star Trek (regularly) 20

 
Know the actors in Star Trek 20

 
Know the episodes of Star Trek (Plot and names)  45

 
Have gone to a Star Trek convention 60 

 

Know Klingon 

 
100 

 
Attended Klingon summer camp (even we think you're a freak on this
one) 
200

 
Game system map on the wall  50

 
Played RPG 25

 
Own a RPG book 30

 
Own a library of RPG books (15 or more) 

(this is the actual game books, not he fiction novels…don't worry,
you'll get to claim those later)
50

 

 
Quote from RPG books 100 

 
Play LARP  25

 
Play LARP weekly 50

 
Play LARP or RPG more than three times a week 120

 
Know what LARP or RPG means

 
Have a dice bag (doesn't everyone?)

 
Ever lost someone in gaming conversations 20

 
On a daily basis 50

 
Fact checked a RPG or LARP outside of game 40

 
Attended a gaming convention 40

 
Ran or helped organize a gaming convention  70

 
Played an all night gaming session 10

 
On New Years Eve 100

 
Spent four hours or more in a gaming store in one day 20

 
Owned or worked in a gaming store  40

 
Run a LARP or RPG 30 per game

 
Play rock, paper scissors a lot  10

 
make gaming references to real life 25

 
Know someone only by their character/in-game name 20 

 
Played the Amber RPG 30

 
Play Magic 20 

 
Have an extensive Magic card collection (1000 or more) 80 

 
Read Literature for fun (school doesn't count)

 
Read Sci-Fi for fun

 
15
Prefer the full pronunciation of science fiction because it's classier 30

 
Read literature based off of RPGs  35

 
Favorite author is R.A Salvatore 70

 
Own or read a Star Wars/Trek book 20

 
Own or read the Vampire Chronicles 10

 
Own or read the core Tolkein books 10

 
Read the other "Tolkein" books  20

 
Own or read all the Dune books 20

 
Own or read all the Amber books  20

 
Own or read all the Star Wars books 75

 
Own or read all the Star Trek books 150

 
Dress all in black

 
Own a gaming teeshirt 30

 
Own a trench coat

 
Own a corset  5

 
Know what garb means 

 
Own a set of garb 20

 
Ever worn garb to scare normals 40

 
Attended a ren-fair 10

 
Member of SCA 30

 
Member of NIGA 30

 
Member of RPGA 30

 
Member of local gaming club 30

 
Pagan  15

 
Read Douglas Adams books 5

 
Quote from a Douglas Adams book

 
10 
Own a Rush album  10

 
Own a Joe Satriani album  10

 
Own a Dead Can Dance album 10

 
Own a Final Fantasy soundtrack 50

 
Read Sandman  5

 
Own Sandman  25

 
Worship Neal Gaimon as a god  25 

 
Collect comic books 20 

 
Own a comic book teeshirt  10

 
Own a computer

 
Own a maxed out computer  20 

 
Built your own computer 50 

 
Play computer/console RPGs 10

 
Play computer/console Strategy games

 
Chat 20 

 
Met significant other through internet 60

 
Know computer language 30 per language

 
Know assembly 50 

 
Know machine language 200 

 
Own computer teeshirt 40

 
Write in binary for fun 100

 
Have played a video game for more than six hours in one sitting 25

 
Are a video game junkie 

(play video games for more than 20 hours a week)
75

 

 
Enjoy watching video games 50

 
Own Tony Hawk Pro Skater  10 

 
Believe in the zen of Tony Hawk 50 

 
Own any Anime 15

 
Have extensive Anime collection 80 

 
Own Anime teeshirt 10

 
Have a comics/Anime/gaming poster 20

 
Have a station wagon or van 5

 
Thinking that you can get laid in the back of your station wagon or
van
20 

 
Brush your teeth less than twice a day

 
Brush your teeth less than twice a week 25

 
Having long hair if you're a man 5

 
Shower less than six times a week 10

 
Have a distinctive unpleasant odor (ask a friend or co-worker) 15

 
Hang out in coffee houses and all night diners  10

 
Wrote of helped write a geek test  100

 
Watch Dr. Who 30

 
Dr. Who fan 45

 
Play Dr. Who RPG  75

 
Own or Read all Dr. Who novels  125

 
Fact checked Dr. Who 50 

Because the next three questions pertain to
activities frequently participated in highschool, the two year rule does
not apply. But if you have been out for more than ten years and aren't
involved in the activities through college or the community, go ahead and
skip these questions.

 

Are or were in marching band 20

 
Are or were in choir 10

 
Are or were in a theatre program 5

This next part of the test is the anti-geek
point section. Deduct any points earned from below from your current total.
These points can be claimed as long as the action happened in the last
four years unless it is related to highschool activities then the rules
above apply.

 

 

Getting laid in the back of a station wagon
of van 
50 

 
Play typical pop music instruments 50

 
Skating (in-line or skateboard) 35

 
Mountain biking 35

 
Treking (hiking, backpacking) 50

 
Play sports 50

 
Play popular sports (football, baseball,
basketball)
150

 
Generally athletic 10

 
Have done jail time 50

 
Do drugs more than twice a year  35

 
Drink (we're talking party drinking here) 15

 
Own higher end, name brand, trendy clothes 70

 
Own a cool car  50

 
Not a virgin 10

 
Member of the 21 or mile high club 100

 
Own a motorcycle  50

 
Are well traveled (abroad or in the U.S.) 80

 
Hold a blue color job 20

 
Are a member of a rock band 150

 
Listen to country music 20

 
Go bar hopping 30

 
Are popular with members of the opposite
sex
80

 
In a fraternity or a sorority 75

 

Geek Point breakdown

0-199         
Non Geek

200-299      Level
0 geek (wannabe)

300-350      Level
1 geek (Urkel)

351-451      Level
2 geek (casual geek)

452-652      Level
3 geek (true geek)

653-1053    Level 4 geek (Uber
Geek)

1054-1854  Level 5 geek (Jedi Master)

1855-2855  Level 6 geek (Leader of the
Golden Crown and Rear Admiral of the Fleet)

2866-4000  Level 7 geek (Maud'dib, The
Chosen Master of the Illuminati, Lord of

                                        
Silicon Valley and the Justicar of all he surveys)

If you can guess what this chart is based
on, give yourself 100 more points


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